Unicorn

“Will you be my girlfriend,” he asked in vein.
“Shut up,” she laughingly responded.
“Please,” he supplicated.
“We’ve been through this, Keith, you know I live too far away for it to work,” she continued, still smiling.
“I know, Ellen,” as he bit his lip, “I know.” It was incessantly too familiar by now.
She kissed him, hoping to stop his hurt; it did little but to salt his wound. He wanted her to be his own so badly he could almost touch it. With every day, he grew, at the same time, more content and more impatient with her situation. He gradually began to recollect their time together.
* *
It had been several months now since they first met. Ellen and Keith had been mutually friends with the same girl, Ashley, and their meeting was more fate, or chance, than anything else.
“Yes, she’s the hot one?” he would ask.
“Yes, Keith, the hot one,” Ashley would reply solemnly. But all it took was one fateful night for Ellen to make her mark on Keith in a way that even she couldn’t understand.
Ellen had a boyfriend at the time, of a year and a half to be sure, and Keith had always been very shy in the company of beauty. He tended to hide behind a veil of either a moderate detachment or uncompromising drunken fury. Yet somehow, that night, they melted together in a beautiful disregard for anything but the moment.
“I think I like Ellen,” Keith admitted to his best friend John at the opening of the first evening of second semester.
“You know she has a boyfriend, forget about it, dude” he immediately dismissed.
“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right, I’m just drunk,” he was still unsure, but determined to forget his foolish notions.
Once at the bar, it was business as usual. He drank with his friends, she danced with hers. He sang with his friends, she laughed with hers. But by some means, they ended up on the dance floor at the same time; by some means, they ended up dancing together. One bar turned to another as they learned each other, falling ever deeper into the moment.
Their eyes locked for an eternal minute, barely dancing now. He began to move towards her, now gently grazing her silky light brown hair.
“I have a boyfriend, Keith,” she said quickly, seeming startled by the words.
He searched her face hard for what seemed like the longest second of his life. No words came to him, and paralysis engulfed his lips. He turned quickly and tried to regain his wit. Nothing.
The evening had fizzled out and Keith walked Ellen home. Cool, damp air surrounded them as they made their way across the river. She stayed with him that night, in the bed left vacant by his roommate as he romanced a tramp, no doubt. Keith stayed awake for awhile and watched her sleep, longing to hold her every minute. It seemed to him, strangely, that even in the darkened room, she had a glow to her; it seemed to him as though she were an angel as she slept.
“Well, I’ll talk to you later,” she said to him awkwardly as they parted way in the morning.
“Yup, see ya,” was all that he could manage in response. If only she were his… if only. He spent the next few days in agony as that moment on the dance floor played through his mind.
“I can’t believe I didn’t say anything!” he screamed at his lack of charm.
* * *
It was Tuesday now, another trip to the bar.
“It will be good for you,” John said, “get drunk, chill with the boys. You just have to forget about her, boss.” Forget about her; it sounded easy enough. He indulged in the comfort of wine that evening.
He promptly caught sight of Ashley as she approached him.
“Damnit,” he thought, “of course they’re here tonight.”
“Hey Keith,” she approached him as though they barely knew each other, “I have something I need to talk to you about.”
“Ellen never wants to see me again, right?” He was sure he had her number.
“Actually….,” She drew out her message, “She has a crush on you and hopes you go dance with her.” He stood there for a moment, dumbfounded by this development.
“Waitress, three chardonnays, please,” he was hoping to fashion a plan. The drinks arrived, and in the time it took him to pay, they were gone, working to calm his nerves. He timidly made his way to the dance floor, not sure what to expect.
“Hey,” slipped out of his mouth. He cursed his lack of charisma.
“Hello,” she said through a smile too radiant to describe. They began dancing, awkwardly as first but quickly becoming one. Their lips brushed there on the dance floor as he held her close.
* * **
One night turned to another and one month to another as they paraded in what could only loosely be described as a relationship. But the winter had already surrendered to spring, and spring was quickly evaporating into summer; their time together was fleeting rapidly.
What she wanted was obscure. She cared for Keith, yet she could not bring herself to accept a serious commitment. Ellen lived five hours west of school, Keith three hours to the east. Although torn, Ellen told Keith their time was over.
He was devastated. The feelings he had for her were so vigorous, so real. Was it him, something he did, another love? He drowned himself in the saddest songs and cheapest beer.
But his sorrow didn’t last for long. Before the next issue of Maxim even arrived, they woke up in each others arms, hung over as a consequence of their respective evenings. Keith pleaded his merits to Ellen; he reasoned until he was blue and shaking. Ellen finally agreed to at least see Keith until school ended. Keith was so ecstatic with the possibility of waking to her enthralling smile once again - to once again smell her on his pillow - that he completely ignored the relative lack of foresight in the proposition: they had but two weeks of school left.
The weeks passed, as time does, without any assistance or convincing. They spent the weeks together, as before, and happy. As she would wake in his arms, Keith felt complete in a way he never had before; Keith was happy as he had never been before.
Their two weeks expired, leaving them saying good bye.
“Be my girlfriend, Ellen,” he pleaded. “Please?”
“I’m sorry, Keith, you know how I feel,” she responded, hurting because it hurt him.
Keith readied himself for the day, and captured Ellen in his arms. They kissed for the last time, and embraced each other as only lovers can.
* * * * *
They were home now and he thought of her often. A voice on the television, a photograph, or one of a million other stimuli was all it took. Each would take him back to a smile, a kiss, a warmth that left him longing. But he was really too busy to dwell on his feelings. He worked nearly every waking moment, every moment that he was not studying for an upcoming private pilots exam or summer classes. Mostly, though, he wondered if she thought often of him.
Over the next few weeks, a knot of doubt grew deep inside of him. It was something that he couldn’t explain, something vague yet very much present. They spoke regularly, and she did nothing to lead him to believe anything had changed; that the distance was the determining factor to her heart. Still, something tugged constantly at his heart. She was back home, with the notorious ex-boyfriend. Could that lead to his unsettled heart? No, he was not the jealous type. His search continued for days.
“It looks like your getting light over there, boss,” John tossed him another can of Coors Light.
“Thanks,” he replied to the lawn across from him.
“What’s with you tonight,” John laughed at him; he already knew the answer.
“I don’t know, I just feel strange,” Keith felt uncomfortable sharing his feelings, “I…” He paused, trying to place his words.
“I know she sucks, and I know I should be done with her….” Another pause.
“But you were in love with her,” John disgustingly interjected.
Could it be true? Love is a word that bore the weight of stone for Keith.
“That would explain a lot,” he confessed, intimidated by the idea, “but it still doesn’t change anything.”
He was swiftly overcome by a tremendous weight. He feelings for her were but an afterthought. She made her choice, and her choice was not him. He swallowed the cool beer hard to choke back the tears in his throat. The crisp air overcame him and consumed his grief, locking it forever in the night sky and his heart.